Swiecicki’s Over Active Mind

How do you tell someone you don’t know their fly is down?

On the train ride home last night there was a young man standing opposite of me in the door way.  We were doing that thing where we try our hardest not to make eye contact since we were so close. Then it happened. In an attempt to look anywhere but his face, but also in an attempt to not stare at one thing for too long in fear of looking like a lunatic, I did the head roll down. I basically pretended there was a large bubble around his head which forced my eyes to roll down across the floor. A pretty standard move I have executed flawlessly in many such situations. This time however, my eyes rolled right over the thighs and I saw the lowered zipper. What to do? What to do? Can I honestly tell him his fly is down? Wouldn’t that seem weird.

“Hey guy!  I know we aren’t too close, but still close enough to feel uncomfortable because we are men damn it.  Aaaaanywho, I was executing a roll….., oh you saw that? Yeah pretty standard. Anyways I happened to look at your thighs and isn’t it the darndest thing. I saw your fly is all the way down. You might want to get on that. Well here is my transfer. I hope we never meet again.”

Needless to say, I said nothing. If he is like me he will check it within 20 minutes, be none the wiser and I won’t have embarrassed him.  Have you recently found your fly down?  Am I talking about you?

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