Hugs and Pullups would like to officially announce that we are putting ourselves on the market as Party Hires. Do you have a birthday, wedding, anniversary, family reunion, bachelor, bachelorette, house, frat, Over the Hill, Gambling, or Democratic Party for hire that you need a little extra “oomph” energy behind? Finding conversations a bit dull when you have a few friends over?
We look forward to helping you celebrate your little addition or mourn your loss with enthusiastic (but discreet if appropriate), optimistic, and goofy observations on life that you have come to know and love from all our Hugs and Pullups official performances. Simply put, there will never be a dull social moment in your life again!
Have you always wished Brian could make Abraham Lincoln references in your grandmothers presence? Here’s your chance? Joe’s looking forward to talking baseball with that uncle who will never shut up about sports, while Courtney’s ready to tear it up on the dance floor to any type of music, from ballroom to hippity-hoppity.
In fact, if you act now, we’ll throw in Philip drinking too much too quickly, ensuring the hilarity gets going before 9pm! Jared has hookah and Malort that your children will remember long after everything has been cleaned up, and John has the superpower of being able to transition any conversation to comic books in the blink of an eye! You won’t believe how Aunt Mabel’s scalloped potatoes are so reminiscent of the Green Hornet! I didn’t!
We will also throw in our HnP Guarantee – Meg Kennedy will always be there to make sure we don’t break anything expensive, and that we leave the minute our time is up. Because we don’t want to be there if we aren’t getting paid, and you won’t want us there anymore either.
So what are you waiting for? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with your credit card information and dates and times, and get ready for a memorable event that no one in your family will ever forget! We know you won’t – even though I’m quite sure I’ll pass out and forget most of it.
Your HnP Family
*HnP makes no guarantee that your family will speak to you after the event. Clothing suggestions are encouraged, but will ultimately be ignored. We are probably not the best human beings to have around your loved ones, nor are we legally ‘Your Family’.
**Please note, this is not a party BUS for hire. Vabs wouldn’t let us use his car.