Remember The AIM Day

I can remember a time when people weren’t just people. You didn’t get a picture of their face… there wasn’t even a book of faces. There was AIM. AOL Instant Messenger… This culture phenomenon was the more popular World War 2 to the simple innocent chatrooms of World War 1 and the disagreeable Viet Nam of Facebook. There was no science to how you got your screen name. Your favorite band… your favorite icecream… a random number. There were the away messages, meaning that someone was always there. And of course, the dinging message noise. It meant that someone had taken time out of their day to send you a joke, write you an emo poem, or an update on homework and how it sucked. Its where we got terms like ROFL, TTFN, OMG, and of course, LOL. Today… we remember these pseudonyms. RIP.

Happy Fourth of July

 

You know, there are many wars America has fought in, but so few people think of the smaller wars that don’t get all the press of World War 1 or 2. Now… for your viewing pleasure; a list of those wars:
The American War for Peanuts: General George Washington Carver’s heroic conquest of the peanut farms of Saskatoon
The War Against the Sun: Still ongoing, mostly in Texas, local militias will fire warning shots at the sky to keep the sun at bay.
Internet Expansion War of 1875: After the Civil War, many Americans pushed westbound on the internet. Some landmarks are still around, such as the “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” statue, and the burial grounds of The Numa Numa Kid.
The Paintball War: The only war that lasted a day, ending after Jimmy Marshalls mom picked him up.
The Great War of the Mascots: in 1574 before our nation was founded, the Kansas City Chiefs, Cleveland Indians, Atlanta Braves, Chicago Blackhawks, and Washington Redskins all fought for power of this great nation. The Dallas Cowboys and New England Patriots eventually took control post 1776.
– Hollyworld War 1: When the great Sylvester Stalone from Italy took on the British Generals Clive Owen and Jason Stathem, France’s Jean Claude Van Damme, and Austria’s Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sweden’s Dolph Lungdren. Further on in the war, Asia’s Jackie Chan and Jet Li became involved. In the end, it was the American, Harrison Ford, who came out on top.

Over the next couple of days, remember those who have fallen to provide you with the freedom to drink beer, cook meat, and light explosive things on fire.

Happy 4th.

Hugs and Pullups… The Movie?

Hello everyone,

Sure live performance is amazing. It lets artists create something new every show, and the joy is in finding the humor in the random situation.

But, there is no money in it. AKA, we want a Hugs and Pullups movie. There’s money in licensing, action figures, posters, and of course, box office sales.

Think you could beat the Hugs and Pullups videogame? I think not.

My question to you fans… who would play the members of Hugs and Pullups? Some choices are obvious, like the office’s Rainn Wilson for Vabs, Matthew Broderick for JVB, and for Meg, Morgan Freeman.

Take some time, and help me to put together a cast that would truly represent Hugs and Pullups. I’ll draft the proposal letters and we should get this green lit by 2012.

CHALLENGE!

My New Years Challege? Get super powers. My challenge to you… the people… is:

How do I get superpowers without alien intervention, radioactivity, or an old Egyptian/ Greek/  Norse/ current god granting me these powers.

Think of the John Stiens origin story!

HnP Theme!

So… I was thinking something like… “Dun… dun dundun daaaah!, dun dun awah awah awah… (then the kettle drums crecendo in)… BUM BUM BUM da da da da BUM!”

Think Vivaldi’s “Summertime” of “The Four Seasons” meets the guitar solo from Free Bird.

What do you think?

(bad) Jokes!

When was the first time you woke up naked not knowing where you were?… Birth.

Now here’s a picture of a scary puppy!